feeling the rain!!

as i type this im looking out of the balcony watching the rain drops fallin on the leaves and making it look lush and green the air smells clean.... everything looks new and beautiful... how i wish there was something like the rain to give us all a new perspective to life and make it feel fresh and new and full of color...

life is a juke box!!!!!!!!

the world is really a funny place! you never know wat comes out of the jukebox i was all complicated yesterday so full of myself and mixed up emotions!! today i wake up to a near perfect mornin with mom bustling around!!i'd agreed to meet someone whom i hardly new i was full of doubts before i left but something in me asked me to give it a shot and i went with my instincts!! i actually enjoyed the day quite a lot and most importantly i made an effort to let my past be and not worry about it too much!!
i talked much more than wat i wouldve even to my best friend and felt at ease the world is truly strange u never know who u'll meet and wat they will be to u!!! i found a friend in the stranger i met today god knows wats nex in the juke box!!!

where is the small part of me?????

sitting on my couch trying to find comfort in the softness of the couch i find none im let sore but the soreness i guess is not because of the couch its my heart i realized....ive heard many say their
heart is filled with pain and the pain is unbearable not in the physical sense though i laughed then i just hadnt felt that never felt my heart devoid of happiness but then ya today realisation dawned on me and i felt the voidness and the pain but why today of all days why now i don know answers to tht all i feel is emptiness and i feel all l lonely but then i also know I'm not alone as i type this i hear my dads snore and forwards on my mobile screen im alone but with people who care life feels devoid of purpose i laugh when asked to smile when i have to be polite... i hang out with my friends and do everything a normal person would but there is a part of me missing and i don know when ill find tht small part of me!!!!!!!!!

CONFUSED

In a beach i sit

Alone and lonely

Mind afar from my body

Caught in a world of my own

One too many stare at me

No one but me can understand my state

Feeling the need of a mate-who

Understands my heart

Someone who cares to share my pain-someone to

Elate me from my pain-in a beach i sit

Donning a frown a frown too big!!!!!!!!!!

don know wat state i am in!

im happy

im sad

im elated

im glad

i really don know wat state i am in just so confused and mixed with emotions!! it just changes as i wink!my friends don understand me nor does my family not that i expect them to cause i don understand my emotions myself!!! why this sudden change? why me why now so many questions unanswered so many emotions to be dealt with no wonder everyone says life is complicated!!